Life with Aspergers

Life with Aspergers
By Roger Plummeridge

I‘m feeling the need to write after reading a number of articles in the Daily Mail, as to the situation of Gary McKinnon the computer genius. As a suffer of Aspergers Syndrome myself I can understand the concern that he will not get a fair trial in the U.S., I know that the U.S government have to be seen to up hold their interests, for Gary McKinnon he has a fascination, his mind is locked on to this obsession and he has not let go of it, to which this has got himself in this predicament. In writing I wish him well ?

My diagnoses were due to my reading the Times where I saw a piece relating to a girl giving her account of life; it was to help raise money for the Autistic Society. After reading it made me think, I thought I was in the same boat as her; I went to my GP in which he referred to a specialist. After the consultation I was told that I had Aspergers. The article has changed my life; this happened around about seven years ago.

Now at the age of fifty lives is so much better now I know what the problem is and how to control the situations that is presented to me, life is so much easier now. As a child I always seemed to be the one who lost out because I did not know what to do, when I was in my primary school I found that hard to talk to the teacher’s I was left in a void which made me very lonely. There were a number of occasions like asking to go to the toilet, I just couldn’t get the words out; looking back it was a nightmare at that young age with no one to help.

I can remember the time when I was in class it was maths, the teacher was a Mr Bashford he had some sums for us to do, it was the old pound shillings and pence, I got the answers wrong because I the mind was racing and I did them to quick, I went up to the front to his desk for him to mark them. He looked at the work were he put across by each sum in red, the problem was that I didn’t see that twelve pennies made one shilling, and that twenty shillings made a pound, so he had to explain the whole thing to me several times; it was all too much, lots of stress!

One of best things I did was learn was to swim at school where I was in the swimming team the headmistress was a force in getting the school a pool, I think the school was one of the first to get a pool in the mid sixties, Miss Fowler I thought was the old fashion type head; because I could swim to a quite good standard she could stand the sight of me. I purpose you can say that Miss Fowler did not know too much about the world of Autism and Aspergers.

When I was at my secondary school a lot of the problems were to come to a head, I suffered bullying which made my time somewhat unpleasant this caused depression, which really I did not know about, I thought that life was meant to be this way; two occasions I had to use some force, one of these I was taken out of the class, and I had to go into the Duty Heads office so that there was no more trouble and I could relax, I had two class mates to keep me company for around a week.

On the sports front being a member of Watford Swimming Club was a savoir really, it gave a lease of life which made me feel wanted. I learnt to play water polo which helps me a great deal; the only thing I could not master was the butterfly, my coordination was useless. I now look back and see the effect this has caused, my coordination expect ally when I was in the gym, I could not do a forward roll or vault the horse I always sat on it, though I could do a tumble turn in the pool.

When I left school I did have some CSE’s of which geography was the highest result, it seemed this subject has had a great appeal over me, I always wanted to travel. I went to work in a coffee warehouse; knowing that I was going to join the armed forces; I worked in the warehouse for around three months, I purpose it was work experience for the better word for it. So after Christmas I was going into another world.

I said my farewells to my parents at station making my way to Sutton Coalfield; this was the army selection centre, where I was going do an entrance exam to see what I was best suited for! Then the next day I would be told the outcome of the results, my mind at this time was racing not knowing how I was going to fair in this new world. When it was my turn to see the officer to give me my results, looking at the worst as always with my nerves feeling terrible I took the news!

After I was told I agreed to join the Scots Guards, to cut a long story short, I spent nearly thirteen years in the regiment. The jobs I did, I learnt to drive so I was in transport for a number of years; in reality I was having a hard time in a rifle company, it was a blessing to get a driving job; the job was a lot more to me I was learning something in a better environment for myself. Later on in pasting my HGV this made me very happy for a change, it meant that I could get a posting easier to do something that I like doing.

Going back to the start, the training part of things at the Guards Depot again this was a wakeup call to say the least. Learning the drill (marching) side of things was for me was very hard, I always seemed to miss vital words, again this was caused by the mind racing. Then there was the problem with the assault course, there were a number of obstacles’ that I always had a problem with, for example the stepping stones it seemed the stones were always that little too far, carrying your equipment as well made even harder after a long route march, my balance was awful.

In the eighties I was posted to Regimental Headquarters in London, this is where I got an interest in tailoring; here the Master Tailor help a great deal, because he worked on his own he had the time to teach me there was a calm atmosphere. I help him with his work, doing his helped me to see that I could produce something and be proud of it. I was put on a course at the Army Tailoring School in Deepcut I just did not like it, and it felt strange the course lasted six weeks. One of the instructors I just could not see me to eye I don’t know why. The results were not good, now I know I couldn’t concentrate quickly enough. It wasn’t like RHQ in London.

Now it was time to leave the Army, I had thought about his for sometime; there had been a scene which I was involved in and that was to be the last straw, if only I could have put my view across better; rank has its privilege, this was really upsetting, so I put my notice in and a year later my career was history. I feel that in the long term my time in the service did benefit me I learned that you should not give up, it did harden me up to an existent, and you do need to know what your limits are to live life.

Now I was in the real world I went back to live with my parents, now I know I should not have done this, I should have gone and tried to rent a place to have my independence. In the Army the routine kept me in line, I suppose going home again was to make life easy. While living at home I was restricted, I was afraid to bring friends around to be honest I thought it would upset them; and when eventually my mum and dad past on, There was a seven year gap in their deaths, since this I seemed to broaden my horizons, I haven’t felt restricted, I had no one to answer to.

I work in the security industry which was the obvious really with my military service, though I did get bored at first, causing depression. So I had to do something about it, I was interested in photography so after buying a camera; I booked myself on a Fast Track course at Eclipse hosted by Mike Goss in Old Willingdon, Eastbourne. Spending five days learning something I always wanted to do but never the courage to do so. Mike and Sue his partner are very good friends now.

Joining Watford Camera Club has also made my life easier, spending time with people with the skills and passions as me has turned things round. Photography has also taken me to go travelling; I could not sit and watch the television for too long now. With Mike & Sue I have been to France and Spain, I have visited New York by myself and last Christmas (2008) I visited the Shetland Isles. The biggest trip I have put myself though was to go to Patagonia; again watching the natural world on television made me want to book up.

Seeing the culture and the wildlife was a great experience; I coped with the travelling side quite well I didn’t really get the stress level very high, it was only when I had to speak to people in the second part of the trip that I had this high stress, for the first part I was with a group of photographers on a week’s shooting in Chile and all stress was with the support staff. As you see part two was a different kettle of fish I was in Argentina; the journey home took around thirty hours, here the most anxiety was when I landed in Buenos Aires at the local and then making my way to the international airport, this took least ninety minutes by bus, with the waiting time. With all the travelling stress and jetlag it took around two weeks to get over it; going back to work was a rest to say the least.

There is need to tell you of the time I had car accident, I got to the bottom of my road, the time was around 0600 am the sun was low, at the junction I looked to the left as the sun was obscuring my vision I couldn’t see I never heard anything, so I proceeded across the road then there was an almighty bang I had been hit by milk float. The formalities where done by the police. On my birthday some months later I received a summons to attend court; I was really stressed, on the day of the hearing as my usual self I took what was coming, I received a fine and seven points on my licence.

One day I was walking by the junction and noticed that there were no road markings (give way I mean), and then I noticed that there was no markings long the rest of the road each junction was clear of markings. The way I look at it now is I should have taken photographs, and I say a book without text isn’t a novel if you see what I mean? Maybe I should have had a word with the County highways department as well? Its lucky no one died; my Mini Metro was a right off. I should have given them the two finger salute to all parties involved, which is what I thought! I was very disappointed.

Now on a lighter note I seem to have a gift for drawing, this came about when I was speaking to a former colleague Clive at work he said get a pad and a 2B pencil and give it go. For some reason I like to draw faces ones I see with character many, I look for good photographs in the newspapers. At first I was all over the place, then I started to get the proportions right, I was starting to look at the photographs in another way, I got the concentration that I needed to for fill this skill, Clive did say to try drawing in colour, I tried though I seem to find that I prefer pencil it seems better on my eye.

I would like to tell you about the problems I have had with the new technology, it has taken some time to get my head around it all. At work I now have to operate computers systems that took quite a time to adjust to. Now having my own laptop, printer and scanner again has changed my world. When I get new programs to be installed on my computer my nephew Marvin is the one to help. He explains it in an easy way so I can take it in, though it does take some time to monitor really. Again it was a number of years before I got the nerve to have a mobile telephone. I also had a problem playing video games when I was younger, I seemed to stay clear of them, and I always seemed to be too slow.

I do have problems with relationships; I seem to say or do something that people see as strange, or that I shy away feeling uncomfortable, that has happen quite a number of times especially with some of the fairer sex. It has also come to my attention that this has made my life somewhat non eventful in the early days and still to this day though not as bad; I wish I could have coped with it a lot better.

I would like to say a few words regarding my writing skills; since leaving school I have not had any official tuition, I think I have always wanted to write though I did not have the confidence to do so, in my present job I have the opportunity to read and write more, writing the daily log book is one of my duties, At first I was very nervous with the spelling, but as time went on I got more confident.

When I started I couldn’t do crosswords at work, my mind was again running fast, with the help of my colleagues I have conquered this, now I have the temperate to succeed, though I still can’t complete most of them, it gives me great satisfaction and pleasure now.

I have also taught myself to type, as you can see, this has taken a number of years practise is the key word and don’t give up, it has given me another way to express myself.

After all these words I have written, the day that I march to Buckingham Palace from Chelsea Barracks for my first Changing of the Guard was one of the proudest moments in my life, marching in the red tunic and the bearskin and all the spectators with their camera’s from all parts of the world, it will always stay in the memory.

Well after reading my account, I hope it will give you an insight into the life of someone with Aspergers and the way it has affected me.